Finding Home
Caitlin or Cait (she/her) is a movement instructor based in Toronto. A graduate of GBFTT2019, she aims to create her classes in a way that inspires curiosity and is rooted in joyful movement. She finds the sweet spot between strength and compassion. She wants participants to cultivate strength and resilience on the mat so that they can feel empowered to take on whatever comes their way off the mat.
SCHEDULE // Thursdays @ 5:30pm // Be Whole
I want to take you back to the first day of GoodBodyFeel’s teacher training in 2019. I was terrified, not sure what to expect and feeling pretty anxious. We had to go around the room, introduce ourselves and share why we were in the training. Simple right? Not for me. Hello anxiety. With each person to speak, my heart started beating faster and faster. By the time it was my turn, I was in full blown panic mode. I don’t remember what I said that day, but I do remember the tears. I felt embarrassed and full of shame. Beating myself up for being too sensitive, too anxious, too shy, too emotional. How was I supposed to be in this training or be a movement instructor if I couldn’t even introduce myself to people without the inevitable t e a r s. I left that day feeling unsure if I was in the right place.
Little did I know, that here at GBF - tears are so welcome. Vulnerability is strength. The whole spectrum of feelings are accepted. You can show up at GBF (virtually or in person) exactly as you are that day and you will be met with compassion. We are humans after all, we are not machines. We are fluid beings meant to experience life fully embodied.
Over the next six months of training, I slowly started to lean into my vulnerability and started to accept all of the B I G feelings I often experience. I cried often. Other people cried. We laughed. We learned. We learned how to teach movement, but perhaps even more importantly we learned ways to show up for ourselves so that we can then show up for others.
I started to learn more tools to face the inner monologue of fear and doubt. I named them. I befriended them. I got down into the deep dark space within myself and gave that gremlin a hug. I broke through the cocoon of shyness that helped me stay safe for so long. I found my footing and knew that I had finally found a place where I belonged. Belonging isn’t something I’ve always known but always secretly craved. I got bullied a lot as a child and into my teens. Growing up in that sort of environment, I didn’t always feel safe. I didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel worthy enough.
Community is like a missing puzzle piece I have been searching for all my life. While we are capable of going through life alone, it feels so much sweeter with a supportive community by your side. We all deserve a space where you can hang up the baggage you’ve been carrying for a moment and sit with community. GoodBodyFeel is this place for me, and perhaps it is for you too. I know I deserve this space, and that you deserve it too.