Return to Ritual
Clairandean (Clair) identifies as a non-binary femme Witch. Their work explores self compassion, intersectionality, and mindful moving. They are Tarot Reader based in Hamilton. You can find them @clairitytarot and clairitytarot.com
The mental health of black humans
and their communities
Through movement
I shouldn’t have to fight for my safety, my integrity, my right to exist. But I regularly have to find moments to affirm to myself stating: that ‘I am meant to be protected.’ It often feels like struggle and fighting. I have to say this because I still live in a world where my black community becomes a hashtag, slogan, at the hands of police and misogynist men. I affirm this regularly to give myself the space in my mind and heart that healing myself is possible even with the current political climate that is inhumane towards black people.
This year 2020, has been a rude awakening collectively for black communities (although not new to us) and non-black communities alike. We know what blinding greed at the hands of white supremacist delusionist looks like. Governments who blatantly ignore the needs of its people who it claims to be in service of. Social Media exploded with images, hashtags of the many black men, black womxn and the black trans community being targeted for murder. It is obvious what is happening to black people under this system and still it is like we have to prove that it is actually happening.
The grief is beyond words and what we have experienced under this system is beyond words. It is even difficult to write pieces like this, because of the many disturbing feelings it can bring up.
Black activists, black artists and other black leaders etc pleaded white folx and other POC folx not to share the videos of black bodies being murdered. We have had to witness black squares take up the space of meaningful black voices on instagram. Black voices speaking to our right to exist. Speaking to how we have been terrorized under this system. The mental leaps to be done for a black person to convince themselves that they are safe in the world, are growing mountains. This year alone marks a heavily violent year towards black trans womxn. We are just beginning to become aware of the unknown deaths of black womxn unheard of because of the refusal to see blackness and femme as human.
Liberated Moves was born from the rise of unrest, and deep suffering of the black community and particularly its black womxn. An offering where Black Womxn Movement teachers lead the BIPOC community through accessible movement, mindful breathing and gentle conversation. Let me say that there is still much grief. There is still grief even when we manage to smile and make ourselves busy with other matters. There is a growing need for black people to see our people resting, literally.
Many images of black people in mass media are often shown in the guise of suffering, violence and entertainment. We need our teachers who know our particular trauma so that movement is carried out with more care and awareness. We need to see each other with eyes closed in peace. We need teachers who look like us in order to deepen that healing within our psyches. We need black leaders leading us through softer movements to know it's possible to move gently through the world without armour all the time. Black people deserve exclusive spaces. Black people need safer spaces. A place where we remind each other to breathe and breathe deeply. A place providing us with more options.
Liberated Moves exclusively for BIPOC humxns was created because the world has shown us over and over again that it is not safe to show up at all. That existing anywhere is a risk of our lives. This particular virtual space on Sunday morning is how we are together apart, without projected narratives of the white gaze. The white gaze has the power to gaslight stories of black people, water it down and at best fully erase those stories all together.
Black womxn leading this series decenters the white gaze and harmful projected narratives that have isolated us from society. Offering stories of softer resistance, through providing space where we can explore our bodies as our own with less shame. To continue a more loving relationship with the muscles and bones we carry and simultaneously offer a space of compassion that only black womxn can give to grow space and distance around our suffering. A space where we can access and invite joy without question or onlookers.
Liberated Moves is a space offered by the GoodBodyFeel studio based in Hamilton, ON. If you follow the threads of the studio you will quickly know the studio is rooted in anti-oppression/ and anti-racist work. It is not enough to just display ‘Black Lives Matter’ on your platform. It must be explicitly clear and discussed how a studio business, etc. is in service to the black and POC communities. It can begin with tokenization and urgently must reach beyond it. A spectrum of black people must be shown regularly because a spectrum of black people DO exist. Black people must exist in other spaces that are nurturing, open, non-judgemental. GoodBodyFeel listened. Listened to the hearts of black humans and asked what do you need? Instead of dictating what we should want. Here we are able to create newer narratives of our bodies and witness the spectrum of our community.
There is something absolutely special and powerful for black people and other non white bodies to move in unison, allowing themselves to breathe, to slowly relax. This is the way we fight, this is the way we keep and share integrity and this is the way we allow ourselves to return to ritual. This class has been a new anchor in my life. Every Sunday, I get a chance to see a group of melanated individuals learn how to be more rested in their own skin, unapologetically. Each Sunday morning I have the chance to see BIPOC movers allowing themselves the chance to breathe a bit deeper, to take a bit more time.
This year, I have turned more of my attention to my mental health in a more conscious way. Meaning, I knew that I cared about my mental health but I did not completely understand what that experience is like in my daily life, until just recently.
This virtual space is how we are together apart and feel a bit safer to be with each other. Not only in the light of many murdered black people this year alone, but also in the light of Covid-19, in the light of seeing masked faces. In 2020, we are shown what a risky place this society has grown to be, where we have to fight for our right to exist as we are. And in all of that we have to remind each other that it's essential that we care for our mental health and care for each other.
While Goodbodyfeel is not the end, it has been one of the few studios that reaches far and wide to offer spaces to black communities and black womxn. It is not not the only one in existence and it is not the only one in the making. It has been in response to the question, who will protect black womxn? Who is in the room? Who is in ‘wellness’ spaces? It is the ongoing attempt to service as well as unlearn, not perfectly but devotedly.
Liberated Moves grants us the peace of being in a more protected space. One of the few virtual spaces made up of melanated screens. Zoom fatigue is real and through that fatigue we find ourselves out to each other to move and heal with each other. To heal together, apart.
There has been countless times during this series that you watch the melanted screens pop up in the room and we just sit there smiling at each other. Knowing that this is a special time to be in virtual space with each other in this way. As a practitioner and space holder, I take those cherished moments to help keep me from being jaded and return to reality with fresher eyes and newer visions.
I am discovering again, what it means to root myself into daily life, slowly. I have grown increasingly aware that I have limited energy to exert; Liberated Moves class makes it clearer what I need to say NO to, for my peace of mind. It holds my need for rest, quiet, contemplation and the opportunity to do this with other BIPOC humxns.